Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please, let me fuck your mom
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
