yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
