So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
