okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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