3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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