Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
