idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
