i was born a porn star she said
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
