Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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