So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
