We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Naked Twister starts at high noon
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
