It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
