i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
