I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
