im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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