there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
