he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
