So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
