Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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