dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
did i just pee glitter
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
