Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize