he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
