I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
