You're so nebulous sometimes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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