How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
