That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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