He is an equal opportunity slut.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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