I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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