My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize