do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
