I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
