1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
