If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
