Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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