Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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