Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
