VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we're making bets on your personal life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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