And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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