don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
