What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
