my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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