K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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