I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sober January is a disaster.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
