I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
