So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
