i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize