everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
