Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Barsexuality is the new black.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
