I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
