dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
