I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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