I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
