this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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