So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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