My hand turned me down
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She told me I should be a condom model.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
