Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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