Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
