she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
