I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
