I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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