Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize